*takes off my shirt in front of my love interest so she can see all my scars like in an angsty book scene*
Her, delicately tracing them with her fingertips: what……happened to you
Me: WELL that one’s where I lied down on a lightbulb and THAT one is from running through cornstalks barefoot and THAT one is because I kept scratching a mosquito bite in my sleep and THAT one is from fighting a goose and tHIs is from when I fell through a window in a tickle fight, an-
So my friend works in the sound booth at his church and during the sermon, the preacher started bashing on gay people, so my friend muted him. Literally muted his preachers microphone I
Direct action
Damn someone remind me to do that next time the sound booth is unprotected so I could just stand the fuck up from my respectable third row seat and walk calmly to the back and just smash the keyboard fuck, @dancingwiththedeviltonight why didn’t I think of this during his completely uncalled for miscarriage sermon can you imagine the chaos
(For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet my parents are super high up in the church and literally any act of rebellion from me would knock down their credibility but I was shaking during that “sermon” so I should have fucking done that.)
Dammit that would have been bad ass
Wouldn’t it have been, though? Me in my fancy dress and heels throwing a keyboard to the ground and stoping on it with my heels… especially if I had been wearing the sharp gold ones. That would have made an impression. Remind me that I can do that the next time I text you during a sermon that’s upsetting me.
